Question 1

What's the difference between a manager and a leader?

Accepted Answer

While the terms are often used interchangeably, there's a meaningful distinction. Managers focus on processes, systems, and maintaining operations—they ensure work gets done correctly and efficiently. Leaders focus on people, vision, and change—they inspire others toward a shared goal. The best professionals develop both skill sets: managing effectively while leading authentically. You can be a leader without a formal management title, and effective managers need leadership skills to truly engage their teams.

Question 2

How often should I have one-on-one meetings with my direct reports?

Accepted Answer

For most teams, weekly 30-minute one-on-ones work well. New employees, those in new roles, or team members facing challenges may benefit from more frequent touchpoints. Senior, experienced team members might be fine with biweekly meetings. The key is consistency—whatever frequency you choose, stick to it. Never cancel one-on-ones; reschedule if necessary. These meetings are your primary tool for building relationships, providing feedback, and supporting your team's development.

Question 3

How do I give feedback to someone who doesn't take it well?

Accepted Answer

First, examine your approach. Are you being specific about behaviors (not personality)? Are you delivering feedback privately and timely? Are you asking questions and listening? If your approach is solid, focus on creating safety. Start with positive intent: 'I'm sharing this because I believe in your potential.' Give them processing time—some people need to reflect before responding. Follow up to show you care about their growth. If defensiveness persists, address it directly: 'I notice you seem uncomfortable with feedback. Can we talk about how I can share input in a way that works better for you?'

Question 4

What should I do in my first 90 days as a new manager?

Accepted Answer

The first 90 days are about learning, relationship-building, and establishing credibility. Days 1-30: Focus on listening. Meet individually with each team member. Understand current priorities, challenges, and dynamics. Build relationship with your manager and key stakeholders. Days 31-60: Start forming your plan. Identify quick wins and pressing issues. Clarify goals with your team. Begin addressing any urgent problems. Days 61-90: Implement initial changes. Establish your leadership rhythms (one-on-ones, team meetings). Create development plans for team members. Resist the urge to change everything immediately—earn trust first.

Question 5

How do I manage someone who was previously my peer?

Accepted Answer

This transition requires intentional communication and boundary-setting. Start with a direct conversation: acknowledge the change, express respect for the relationship, and discuss how you'll work together going forward. Be consistent in treating all team members fairly—avoid favoritism or overcompensating by being harder on your former peer. Maintain the friendship where appropriate, but recognize that some boundaries need to shift. You may need to have difficult conversations; don't avoid them because of history. Over time, the relationship will find a new equilibrium based on mutual respect.

Question 6

How can I build trust with a remote team?

Accepted Answer

Remote trust-building requires intentional effort. Communicate transparently and frequently—share context, decisions, and your reasoning. Follow through on every commitment, no matter how small. Default to video for meetings to build human connection. Create space for non-work conversations—virtual coffee chats, team social time, personal check-ins. Assume positive intent when things go wrong. Avoid surveillance and micromanagement; focus on outcomes, not activity. Trust must be given to be received—demonstrate that you trust your team through autonomy and responsibility.

Question 7

What's the best way to handle conflict between team members?

Accepted Answer

Address conflict early—it rarely improves with avoidance. Start by understanding both perspectives privately. Look for the underlying needs and concerns, not just surface positions. Then bring people together to discuss the issue directly, with you as a facilitator. Focus on shared goals and interests. Help them establish agreements about how they'll work together. Follow up to ensure the resolution holds. If conflict is persistent or severe, consider whether there's a structural issue (unclear roles, competing incentives) that you can address.

Question 8

How do I deal with an underperforming team member?

Accepted Answer

Start with curiosity, not assumptions. Have a direct conversation about the gap between expectations and performance. Listen for root causes: Do they understand expectations? Have skills to succeed? Have obstacles you could remove? Are personal issues affecting work? Co-create a clear improvement plan with specific, measurable goals and a timeline. Provide support—training, resources, coaching. Check in regularly on progress. Document everything. If improvement doesn't happen, follow your organization's performance management process. Sometimes the right outcome is helping someone find a role that's a better fit.

Question 9

How can I develop leadership skills without a formal leadership role?

Accepted Answer

Leadership opportunities are everywhere. Volunteer to lead projects or initiatives. Mentor newer colleagues. Facilitate meetings. Take responsibility for solving problems, not just identifying them. Build relationships across the organization. Develop expertise that others seek out. Practice giving and receiving feedback. Study leadership through books, courses, and observation of leaders you admire. Seek feedback on your influence and impact. Many of the best leaders built their skills long before they had official titles—the title often follows demonstrated leadership capability.

Question 10

How do I balance being liked with being respected as a leader?

Accepted Answer

This is a false dichotomy, but it does require balance. The goal is neither to be everyone's friend nor a feared authority figure. Focus on being fair, consistent, and caring. Have high standards and help people meet them. Give direct feedback with empathy. Make tough decisions when necessary, and explain your reasoning. Protect your team's interests while holding them accountable. Admit mistakes. Respect earns respect—treating people well, following through on commitments, and being honest even when it's uncomfortable. Over time, most team members will appreciate a leader who helps them grow, even if specific conversations are difficult.

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